Jokes
- Shotokan101
- RouterTech Team
- Posts: 4779
- Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Fair Treatment ?
When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed
him to his house; a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a
tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying
the amenities of Heaven.
One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran
into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.
"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?"
"Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I
got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill
overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a
golf course, and three Rolls Royces."
"Were you a pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates.
"No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic."
Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stormed off to
find St. Peter.
Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying,
"How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new
cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I
invented the Windows Vista operating system! Why does he deserve better??!!!!"
"True," Peter replied, "But the Titanic only crashed once."
him to his house; a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a
tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying
the amenities of Heaven.
One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran
into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.
"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?"
"Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I
got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill
overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a
golf course, and three Rolls Royces."
"Were you a pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates.
"No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic."
Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stormed off to
find St. Peter.
Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying,
"How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new
cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I
invented the Windows Vista operating system! Why does he deserve better??!!!!"
"True," Peter replied, "But the Titanic only crashed once."
Jim
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
- Shotokan101
- RouterTech Team
- Posts: 4779
- Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Hero Worship....
After his recent defeat to Prescott, Khan talked about how he was inspired by Nicholas Cage as a young boy.
His favorite film was "Gone in 60 seconds".
His favorite film was "Gone in 60 seconds".
Jim
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
- Shotokan101
- RouterTech Team
- Posts: 4779
- Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland
What's the difference ?
What's the difference between Bo Diddley and Man Utd?
Man Utd can still play Giggs
Man Utd can still play Giggs
Jim
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
- Shotokan101
- RouterTech Team
- Posts: 4779
- Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Countdown.....
What is 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1?
Bo Derek getting older.
Bo Derek getting older.
Jim
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
- Shotokan101
- RouterTech Team
- Posts: 4779
- Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland
- Shotokan101
- RouterTech Team
- Posts: 4779
- Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Women Drivers.....
Jim
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
- Shotokan101
- RouterTech Team
- Posts: 4779
- Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Ever wondered.....
Jim
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
- Shotokan101
- RouterTech Team
- Posts: 4779
- Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Great Signage.....
Jim
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
- thechief
- RouterTech Team
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- Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2006 10:22 pm
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- Contact:
Yes, it was on the news tonight.
The Chief: Be sure to read the Firmware FAQ and do a Forum Search before posting!
No support via PM. Ask all questions on the open forum.
No support via PM. Ask all questions on the open forum.
He ached all over. It wasn't just that his brain was writing cheques that his body couldn't cash. It had gone beyond that. Now his feet were borrowing money that his legs hadn't got, and his back muscles were looking for loose change under the sofa cushions.
- Terry Pratchett
www.bliss.org.uk
- Terry Pratchett
www.bliss.org.uk
Good hair day
One morning a man tells a coworker that her hair smells nice. The woman gets enraged, storms into her supervisor’s office, and declares she’s filing a sexual harassment suit.
“Come on,” says the supervisor. “What’s wrong with a guy telling you your hair smells nice?”
“He’s a f*****' midget!”
One morning a man tells a coworker that her hair smells nice. The woman gets enraged, storms into her supervisor’s office, and declares she’s filing a sexual harassment suit.
“Come on,” says the supervisor. “What’s wrong with a guy telling you your hair smells nice?”
“He’s a f*****' midget!”
He ached all over. It wasn't just that his brain was writing cheques that his body couldn't cash. It had gone beyond that. Now his feet were borrowing money that his legs hadn't got, and his back muscles were looking for loose change under the sofa cushions.
- Terry Pratchett
www.bliss.org.uk
- Terry Pratchett
www.bliss.org.uk
- Shotokan101
- RouterTech Team
- Posts: 4779
- Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland
...in an attempt to raise the tone
I suspect that this may be a couple of years old as I seem to remember seeing it before but still well worth a post....
These workmen are installing bollards to stop nurses from parking on the pavement outside the Royal Hospital in Belfast
They are cleaning up at the end of the day.
How long do you think it will be before they realise that they can't go home?
Jim
I suspect that this may be a couple of years old as I seem to remember seeing it before but still well worth a post....
These workmen are installing bollards to stop nurses from parking on the pavement outside the Royal Hospital in Belfast
They are cleaning up at the end of the day.
How long do you think it will be before they realise that they can't go home?
Jim
- Attachments
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- Irish Workmen.jpg
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Jim
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
- thechief
- RouterTech Team
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- Contact:
They can go home if Superman helps them
The Chief: Be sure to read the Firmware FAQ and do a Forum Search before posting!
No support via PM. Ask all questions on the open forum.
No support via PM. Ask all questions on the open forum.
- Shotokan101
- RouterTech Team
- Posts: 4779
- Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland