Jokes

Talk about anything you like here, as long as it's non-technical and within the rules. No support questions here please! Posts here do not count towards your total
Post Reply
User avatar
Shotokan101
RouterTech Team
RouterTech Team
Posts: 4779
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Fair Treatment ?

Post by Shotokan101 » Tue Sep 09, 2008 11:08 pm

When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed

him to his house; a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a

tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying

the amenities of Heaven.

One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran

into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.

"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?"

"Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I

got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill

overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a

golf course, and three Rolls Royces."

"Were you a pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates.

"No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic."

Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stormed off to

find St. Peter.

Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying,

"How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new

cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I

invented the Windows Vista operating system! Why does he deserve better??!!!!"

"True," Peter replied, "But the Titanic only crashed once."
Jim

.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
User avatar
Shotokan101
RouterTech Team
RouterTech Team
Posts: 4779
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Hero Worship....

Post by Shotokan101 » Tue Sep 09, 2008 11:29 pm

After his recent defeat to Prescott, Khan talked about how he was inspired by Nicholas Cage as a young boy.

His favorite film was "Gone in 60 seconds".
Jim

.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
User avatar
Shotokan101
RouterTech Team
RouterTech Team
Posts: 4779
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

What's the difference ?

Post by Shotokan101 » Tue Sep 09, 2008 11:32 pm

What's the difference between Bo Diddley and Man Utd?

Man Utd can still play Giggs
Jim

.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
User avatar
Shotokan101
RouterTech Team
RouterTech Team
Posts: 4779
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Countdown.....

Post by Shotokan101 » Tue Sep 09, 2008 11:45 pm

What is 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1?

Bo Derek getting older.
Jim

.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
User avatar
Shotokan101
RouterTech Team
RouterTech Team
Posts: 4779
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Scared ?

Post by Shotokan101 » Tue Sep 09, 2008 11:50 pm

Jim

.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
User avatar
Shotokan101
RouterTech Team
RouterTech Team
Posts: 4779
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Women Drivers.....

Post by Shotokan101 » Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:10 am

Jim

.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
User avatar
Shotokan101
RouterTech Team
RouterTech Team
Posts: 4779
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Ever wondered.....

Post by Shotokan101 » Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:11 am

Understandable Error Messages....

http://www.jibjab.com/view/41520

Jim
Jim

.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
User avatar
Shotokan101
RouterTech Team
RouterTech Team
Posts: 4779
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Great Signage.....

Post by Shotokan101 » Fri Oct 31, 2008 7:15 pm

Jim

.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
User avatar
thechief
RouterTech Team
RouterTech Team
Posts: 12067
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2006 10:22 pm
Location: England, the Centre of Africa
Contact:

Post by thechief » Fri Oct 31, 2008 9:47 pm

Yes, it was on the news tonight. :shock:
The Chief: :afro: Be sure to read the Firmware FAQ and do a Forum Search before posting!
No support via PM. Ask all questions on the open forum.
User avatar
Steve
Ex RouterTech Team
Ex RouterTech Team
Posts: 980
Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2006 2:34 am

Post by Steve » Sun Nov 16, 2008 9:35 pm

He ached all over. It wasn't just that his brain was writing cheques that his body couldn't cash. It had gone beyond that. Now his feet were borrowing money that his legs hadn't got, and his back muscles were looking for loose change under the sofa cushions.
- Terry Pratchett

www.bliss.org.uk
User avatar
Steve
Ex RouterTech Team
Ex RouterTech Team
Posts: 980
Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2006 2:34 am

Post by Steve » Sun Nov 16, 2008 9:36 pm

Good hair day

One morning a man tells a coworker that her hair smells nice. The woman gets enraged, storms into her supervisor’s office, and declares she’s filing a sexual harassment suit.

“Come on,” says the supervisor. “What’s wrong with a guy telling you your hair smells nice?”

“He’s a f*****' midget!”
He ached all over. It wasn't just that his brain was writing cheques that his body couldn't cash. It had gone beyond that. Now his feet were borrowing money that his legs hadn't got, and his back muscles were looking for loose change under the sofa cushions.
- Terry Pratchett

www.bliss.org.uk
User avatar
Shotokan101
RouterTech Team
RouterTech Team
Posts: 4779
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Post by Shotokan101 » Wed Nov 26, 2008 2:35 pm

...in an attempt to raise the tone :lol:

I suspect that this may be a couple of years old as I seem to remember seeing it before but still well worth a post....

These workmen are installing bollards to stop nurses from parking on the pavement outside the Royal Hospital in Belfast


They are cleaning up at the end of the day.


How long do you think it will be before they realise that they can't go home?

Jim
Attachments
Irish Workmen.jpg
(30.49 KiB) Downloaded 458 times
Jim

.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
User avatar
thechief
RouterTech Team
RouterTech Team
Posts: 12067
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2006 10:22 pm
Location: England, the Centre of Africa
Contact:

Post by thechief » Wed Nov 26, 2008 2:54 pm

They can go home if Superman helps them :tongue:
The Chief: :afro: Be sure to read the Firmware FAQ and do a Forum Search before posting!
No support via PM. Ask all questions on the open forum.
User avatar
Shotokan101
RouterTech Team
RouterTech Team
Posts: 4779
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:17 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Post by Shotokan101 » Wed Nov 26, 2008 2:55 pm

"SuperPaddy" to the Rescue ! :lol:
Jim

.....I'm Sorry But I Can't Do That Dave.....
mstombs
RouterTech Team
RouterTech Team
Posts: 3753
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:54 pm

Post by mstombs » Wed Nov 26, 2008 6:39 pm

Yes, seen it before - that post behind the vehicle has just been added by photoshop and blurred around the base don't you think!
Post Reply